One evening George Bernard Shaw attended a performance by an Italian string quartet. "These men," his companion approvingly declared, "have been playing together for twelve years."
"Surely," Shaw replied, "we have been here longer than that!"
Famed violinist Jascha Heifetz once told his enthusiastic new secretary that he needn't compliment him after every performance. "If I play well," he explained, "I know it myself. If I don't, I shall only be disappointed if you flatter me."
After a particularly successful concert some time later, Heifetz accosted his secretary. "What's the matter!?" he roared. "You don't like music!?"